Mother’s Day. Idyllic. Breakfast prepared by the hubby and kids. Homemade cards and notes.
Lunch with my family. Beautiful weather for a soccer game. Daughter’s team wins! Come home, neighbor friends outside, kids excited to see them. Screaming. Giggling.
Just when you think everything is picture-perfect… you get a reminder of what it’s all about.
“MMMMMOM, she called me a LOSER!”
What?!?! This was unprovoked (I later verified). I was stunned, especially since we considered this little person a friend. I wasn’t sure if she knew what she had said, had done. The older kids were confused not knowing what happened.
“She called me a loser! Hmmmph!!! That was mean!” Arms crossed. My little man stomping away towards the back door with teary, glassy eyes… going inside the house. He’s four years old with a sensitive soul. He knows enough that it was negative. My heart was breaking for him, we’ve never had to deal with that sort of talk.
Not seeing any grown-ups around, and wanting to say something, I softly said to this child, “I think you said something not so nice. Something unfriendly. I think you hurt Ollie’s feelings. Maybe you might want to say sorry.” And after a few seconds, she walked away saying absolutely nothing. This person broke my son’s trust and confidence. How do I know? For about fifteen minutes, there was lots of snuggling and he kept repeating what she said. I had to do some rebuilding. The discussion ended up like this,
“Your friend said something that hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry…”
“Yes.”
“You’re super sad about that. I know.”
“Yes.”
“Well, is that true? Are you loser?”
*sniffle* “No.”
“Just because that one person said that… it doesn’t make you a loser. You know you aren’t one and we don’t think you are. We love you very much, and you have lots of pals at school and friends…”
*wiping nose* “Right.”
“So, are you a loser?”
“Nope.”
“What’s your name?”
*smirk* “Oliver. Oliver Tiu.”
“And you’re a good boy… funny… good brother… smart…”
“Yes.”
“And you’re cool!”
“YEAH!”
“Next time someone says something hurtful, you tell them, that it’s not true. And, you walk away. You don’t have to listen to (those mean words).”
“Yeah, it’s not true! I’m not a loser!”
Right, kiddo, you’re not. Far from it.
—
As your mom, I wish I could always make things right for you, but I think my biggest hope is to raise you to be good people, and to make sure you know what you need to know to make good decisions; to arm you with skills to get you through the rough patches… to know that life is great, but hard work, too. Amidst all the laundry and house chores, nagging about toys all over the floor, know that I’m trying to be the best mom I can be, always hoping that you’re learning something and loving your childhood. I love you guys, more than you know.
Abby and Mom at Baptism 2002
Ollie and Mom 2007
